Time gets away from us, doesn't it? I said to a dear friend, "It's as if the sand in the hour glass has turned to water. The hours, days, and years just flow faster and faster."
No sense in me trying to make up for time that's passed, or the thoughts I didn't sit down to write through the course of it. It's because it seemed so overwhelming a task, that such a large amount of time has slipped by without me doing so. Today, I've decided I'll begin where I am in the present and commit to share from this point forward.
I couldn't possibly begin to convey my present thoughts, without some reflection of the past. Many don't wish to remember four years ago when Jonnae was battling for more time on earth. Yet, I discovered how to make best use of my own, because of it.
I've a strong desire to recreate what I got to experience during that last bit of time with Jonnae. In a song called "Blessings" by Laura Story, one will hear her sing these words, "What if my greatest disappointments, or the aching of this life, is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy." If not for having experienced what we did together, I'd not recognize that what I strive to create on earth, is what lies ahead in Heaven. I got to sample a taste with Jonnae, in a recipe that combined struggle, selflessness, faith and God's presence. No reason why I can't take the ingredients the gift of today offers, combine them with the recipe Jonnae and I discovered, and create more of the same sweet treat today.
I thought that's exactly what I was trying to do. However, it's only recently that I've come to realize, I was trying to be the executive chef. This is the role of the one responsible for the operation of entire kitchen. Only that's not possible. God's the executive chef. There is no 'sous chef', for that is a role created for a second in command when the executive chef is absent. That's never the case in God's kitchen. No! I see now, I'm more a line cook working in what I see as the pastry department (how divine an analogy, lol) creating sweet concoctions of love, peace, joy and inspiration. (It's important to note, even the sweetest desserts can have ingredients that are not sweet at all) See how incredibly beautiful this metaphor is when observing an illness and Heavenly Birth as ingredients for a sweet and 'soulful' recipe.
I imagine every year at this time, I'll be deep in rememberance of a past Christmas that combined an array of ingredients to create the sweetest of delicacies. I am ever awake to the fact that on my own, I will never produce such a dessert as what God did then, is doing now, and will in the future. With the enthusiasm of a child at Christmas, I anticipate with great delight, what sweet experience He's baking up in His kitchen to gift me in this year's Christmas 'present'....only a taste of what He has for us in the eternity of Heaven.
I've unconsciously attempted to take over the bakery the past couple of years. Now that I've reawakened to my rightful place in God's kitchen, I'm confident that my 44th year will be quite the dream. I hope this analogy is enjoyable for you, as it is me. I long to share the sweet desserts I create in God's kitchen with you! Consider this, your piece of my birthday cake ;D ( I get to share my birthday with Jesus. I just heard the song, "Love was Born on Christmas Day" It may sound hokey....I assure you it's my deepest desire to be a gift of God's love to the world, at Christmas and all year through.)